Tuesday, April 3, 2007

On Notice!

If you enjoy Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report", which I'm sure you know I do, you know that when any person, organization, ideal, or other abstract concept wrongs Stephen Colbert in some way, he puts them "on notice", which is basically a warning and an outward expression of disapproval. He has an "On Notice" board where he puts the names of those things which are on notice as a reminder. For your information he also has a "Dead To Me" board, but that's not really relevant at this point.

I found an AWESOME web site today. Go here: http://www.shipbrook.com/onnotice/

You can make your own "On Notice" Board. In that spirit, here's mine.



Watch out, sleepwalking! If you're not careful, you just may move to "Dead To Me". If I don't become dead to you first, that is.

Monday, April 2, 2007

Brush with death

If I had been more conscious when it happened, I would have seen my life flash before my eyes early this morning.

My roommate, Dan, has trouble getting up in the morning. He has been known to sleepwalk. I once walked to my bed at night in total darkness, and as I reached down to turn the covers down, my hand grabbed a still hairy leg instead. After a lap of sleepwalking around the house, he had returned to bed. My bed. It scared the CRAP out of me. A week or two later, as I came to my bed, and I was just climbing in, he sat straight up and told me in great length about a chemistry lab he had just been doing. It was HILARIOUS to me, not only because sleep-talking is funny, but also because his sleep-induced logic towards chemistry fundamentals was ridiculous.

We haven't had any good encounters with his sleep-related craziness in a while. Or I should say, we HADn't, until this morning.

I found myself awakened this morning by a little tug on my covers. It was enough to arouse me about halfway from my sleep, so I wasn't fully conscious. I drowsily turned over, and pulled the covers slowly away from my face, only to see my roommate standing immediately next to my bed, towering over me. At first, I didn't react. I was, after all, half asleep. Soon enough, the realization hit me that this was the type of position a killer would take before numerous thrusts of a dagger would rain down and kill his prey, so after two or three seconds, my eyes shot open as I sprang up. I looked into his eyes, ready for a fight (clearly, I was still not completely conscious. Or I've seen too many action movies lately.), only to see that his eyes were, in fact, closed. Realization sank in that he was sleepwalking. I sighed and relaxed, and commanded him with the firm tone to which his unconscious self responds to go back to bed.

Apparently he had gotten up to turn his alarm off, and within a second or two after turning it off, he fell back asleep, standing, and conveniently right next to my bed. For some reason, in his unconscious stupor, he felt the need to wake me up as well (he usually wakes up about three hours before I do), hence the tug on my covers.

Good thing I looked in his eyes before I destroyed him with my Jujitsu. If that were the case, I'd probably be stuck without a roommate. That would...be...hmm...terrible? Yeah, terrible, that's it.

Friday, March 30, 2007

Moving on

I'm 21 years old, and I won't be graduating from college for two more years. Recently I started doing research on grad schools, and I can't stop thinking about it. Should I go back east (the answer to that is a definite 'yes')? Should I get my Ph.D in Europe (much farther east)? What do I want to study: Immunology? Microbiology? Molecular Biology? Cell Biology? Infectious Diseases? Microbial Genetics? Virology? Bacteriology? Parasitology?

I don't know what I'm doing in my life! I'm thinking of going into... male modeling. Or maybe... high finance? I'm at a crossroads, and there's an IHOP on one corner, and a Denny's on the other! I just don't know!!!!

Does anyone else think about things WAY too far in advance?

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Good Music, Bad Music

One of the great things about the collection of people in the lab I work in is that most of us are huge music fans. Each of us have copied the music from our iPods onto the main lab computer (which has 2 or 3 hard drives of over 100 GB each), and between us, we have basically every genre covered, making a pretty impressive collection of music. I don't remember the number of GB of music on there, but I know it's WELL over 3 months-long. Or so says iTunes. The computer is tripped out with two fairly nice speakers from a big stereo system, and a subwoofer. Yes, a subwoofer, right next to two PCR machines and an autoclave.

Naturally, with a collection like that, spanning all genres, we've got some pretty sweet playlists. I've made several, though there's really just one that I listen to with any frequency, when I get to choose what we listen to. I have no actual name for it, mostly because it's a very eclectic mix of music. In addition to the usual (and expected, if you know me) handful of jazz, there's classic rock and 80's new wave songs, a few hip-hop songs (apparently, Fergie wants to get me drunk off her lady-humps), as well as even a few of the almost tolerable songs performed by country artists. You can be rocking out to Queen one minute, moved by a Miles Davis ballad the next, and then out of nowhere you hear some awesome Earl Scruggs banjo solo that almost makes you crap your pants!

The other day, I was in the lab, doing my usual thing. One of the guys who kinda distances himself from everyone else happened to be in the lab, and was doing some research on the main computer. Until he came in, I was the only person in the lab, so my awesome mix was playing. For the first half hour or so that he was there, the shuffle seemed to favor mostly the classic rock songs I had placed on there, which he and I were both enjoying. Anyone who doesn't enjoy a little Styx every once in a while has a black hole for a heart. After enjoying a great Doors track (I forget which one), Pat Metheny's "The Roots of Coincidence" came on. I understand that the name of that song, and maybe the artist, means nothing to you, so I'll fill you in. Pat is primarily a jazz guitarist, but he also forays into folk, country, new age, and as in the case with this song, rock. "The Roots of Coincidence" is an eight minute acid rock spectacular. It has some shredding that would make even Jimmie Page do a double-take to listen again. About two minutes into the song, when the music is already intense, but getting much, much more so, this moron switches to "Sweet Dreams" by Eurythmics, without so much as a word of "Hey, Jake, do you mind?" or anything. I was, well, shocked, and maybe even nauseated.


Don't get me wrong. I like "Sweet Dreams". I did, after all, put it on my list. Still, two huge errors were made:
1) Switching to a new song in the middle of another one. All the musical tension that was building up never got resolved! Arrgh! Songs aren't written for you to only listen to a portion of them. Songs are whole units, and need to be respected as such.
2) Switching from a very musical song to a less-so song. "Roots of Coincidence" is very acid rock, but still classy. Pat got a Grammy for best rock instrumental performance in 1997 for that song. It ain't no trash. To switch from that to Eurythmics is like eating a few bites of filet mignon, and then deciding you'd prefer a McDonald's cheeseburger. Such a huge step down!

Am I overreacting?

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Smells Like...Teen Spirit? No, no, Old Spice!

You ever notice how important your sense of smell is?

As many of you already know, I suffer a mild case of hearing loss, thanks to years of shooting guns with my dad and brothers as a child, and thanks even more to 7 years of being in band in junior high and high school. Because of this loss in hearing, I'm pretty sure my sense of smell is enhanced.

The first time I realized my sense of smell was unusually strong was in the 11th grade. I was sitting next to a friend in German, and sighed with boredom. As I breathed in, I smelled a familiar smell.

"Zach, are you wearing Old Spice High Endurance Anti-Perspirant, Original Scent?" I had worn that deodorant about a year earlier, so I recognized the smell. Maybe I should've been a little more sly, and not launched right into the FULL name, but that's just the kind of man I am.


"WHAT?!" he replied, with a face containing some awful mix of confusion and terror. Most of the people I knew in high school thought I was gay, and this guy rated a little higher on the homophobia meter than most of the people I knew.


"I'm just asking. It's a good smell. I used to wear it myself", I assured him, trying to get him to calm down.

He never actually answered me. The conversation made him visibly uncomfortable, so I dropped it. A few months later, I found out from another friend in the class that I had indeed identified his deodorant, a smell he had JUST bought. I noticed it on the very first day he wore it.

Here I am now, six years later, and I've begun to use my sense of smell as a way to get to know people better. Lady-friends of mine who I'm especially close with hardly even flinch when I grab a piece of their hair, mid-conversation, and take a whiff, just to smell some of that vanilla or coconut-y goodness. In my dance class, I find myself recognizing smells of my myriad dance partners. There's one girl in there who I know for a fact wears Secret brand deodorant (I personally don't care much for that scent). Another wears a delicious citrus-smell, but she and I haven't reached the 'smell-your-hair-in-casual-conversation' level of friendship, so I can't tell if it's perfume, shampoo/conditioner, hair gel, or something else.

Personally, I find this funny, except that I catch myself using their personal scents as a means for discrimination: the "Secret" girl is a much better dancer, and isn't terrible-looking, but I find myself preferring to dance with the citrus girl, who is about equally good-looking, but probably a worse dancer. The girl who smells like she didn't shower before class is probably my last pick; meanwhile, the overweight girl who smells like coconut? "You wanna dance?" For the most part, I prefer a partner who smells good, rather than looks good, and I don't really care how well they dance.

Civil rights and discrimination-related issues are important to me in politics; I think it's morally wrong to judge someone by visual issues, like the color of their skin, how overweight they are, or how attractive they may be. Does the fact that I appear to discriminate based on another of my five senses make me just as bad?

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Updated

I've added my posts from my old website at mac.com, for those of you who were worried they'd be gone forever.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

My first post. Wahoo!

Well, I fought this for a while. Finally, I'm giving in. I'm going to make a blog. I'll try to make it entertaining, I promise.

For those of you who actually paid attention back when I had a site at mac.com, I'll work on posting those pages on here. We'll see.

Sunday, March 4, 2007

Cover Songs!

There is truly a WEALTH of great music available to listen to, and as refreshing as it is to hear something new, it’s also nice to hear something familiar, with a twist. I’ve noticed that I have a lot of recordings of musicians covering other musicians’ songs, and I thought I’d share.

For those of you not familiar with the jargon, “covering” means playing another band or musician’s song, while adding your own personal “flavor” to the music.

There are some artists who have more than one song here. Forgive me for that; they cover music really well!

Enjoy!

Some of Jake’s Favorite Cover Songs:
1. “Sing Sang Sung” by Gordon Goodwin’s Big Phat Band, based on “Sing Sing Sing” as performed by Benny Goodman
2. “Message In A Bottle” by John Mayer, from the song by The Police
3. “Bold As Love” by John Mayer, from the song by Jimi Hendrix
4. “Chipmunk Christmas” by John Scofield, based on “Christmas Don’t Be Late” as performed by Alvin & the Chipmunks
5. “Bohemian Polka” by Weird Al Yankovic, based on Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”
6. “Cold Cold Heart” by Norah Jones, from the song by Hank Williams, Sr.
7. “Crazy” by Diana Krall, from the song performed by Patsy Cline
8. “Elephant Love Medley” from Moulin Rouge, based on TONS of CLASSIC love songs
9. “Don’t Know Why” by Pat Metheny, from the song by Norah Jones
10. “Highway to Hell” by Maroon 5, from the song performed by AC/DC
11. “Lady Marmalade” by Christina Aguilera, P!nk, Li’l Kim, and Mýa, from the song performed by Labelle
12. “Mozart’s 40th Symphony In G Minor” by Gordon Goodwin’s Big Phat Band, from... well, you know

Note: Weird Al is best known for his parodies of popular music, but in this case, Bohemian Polka is a cover, not a parody. He didn’t change the lyrics, and the only real change in the music is the change in style from rock to polka.

Please leave comments, including about any good cover songs you have!

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Black History Month

Okay, so I didn’t post last week. I was in Vegas, and didn’t have my wonderful Mac with me to make a list. Sorry. I doubt anyone actually noticed.

This weekend is the last weekend in February, and so I’ve decided to take advantage of Black History Month while I still can. This week’s list focuses on two things: 1)some of the great musical achievements brought by African Americans (knowing me, that of course means jazz), and also a little on actual history and some pioneering moments in black history. I didn’t really focus on modern black history or music, because I don’t really feel equipped with the knowledge or the music to do so. Deal with it.

Because this list is a little more based on history and less on music, I’m going to include an explanation for why I included each song. I hope you find it informative!

This week’s list:
1. “Maple Leaf Rag” by Scott Joplin
2. “Memphis Blues” by Jim Europe’s 369th Infantry Band
3. “Charleston” by James P. Johnson
4. “West End Blues” by Louis Armstrong and his Hot Five
5. “Black Beauty” by Duke Ellington
6. “Jumpin’ at the Woodside” by Count Basie
7. “Manteca” by Dizzy Gillespie
8. “Rose Room” by the Benny Goodman Sextet
9. “Stardust” by Louis Armstrong
10. “Strange Fruit” by Billie Holiday
11. “Fables of Faubus” by Charles Mingus
12. “Pastime Paradise” by Stevie Wonder

And here’s why:
1. Joplin, a black man, was an excellent classical pianist, but with a generous understanding of the African folk music, which was popular among poor blacks, especially in the South. He fused the two and invented what we know as ragtime, a precursor to jazz and therefore the rest of modern music. This is a classic Joplin song.
2. Jim Europe led this all-black military band during World War I, and was immensely popular for the time. The band played the mostly-accepted style of music called blues almost exclusively, at a time when a fledgling style of music called “Jass” was gaining popularity but was mostly considered dirty and inappropriate. In addition to preparing the American public for a more swinging sound, he was among the first few black musicians to receive acclaim at a national level. Funny how no one has heard of him today, eh? This song was kind of the band’s theme song.
3. Pretty much everyone knows the tune to the popular 20’s dance, the “Charleston”. The original song was written by James P. Johnson, a major influence in early jazz, especially on the style of jazz piano. He is one of the primary inventors of the piano style known as “Harlem Stride”, exemplified beautifully in this recording.
4. Louis Armstrong and his Hot Five and Seven (those are names of two ensembles) recorded some truly classic and immensely influential tracks. This is one of them. It begins with a solo by Louis, “simple in its complexity and complex in its simplicity”, followed later by some mild but classic scat singing. These recordings are where “scat” began.
5. A beautiful recording from early in Ellington’s career. This is another example of Harlem Stride from another of its masters. If you don’t know who Duke Ellington is, go Google it, because I don’t have time (or space) to explain it.
6. This is THE classic song by Count Basie. Basie’s influence on modern music is only slightly less than Louis Armstrong’s, and equal with Duke Ellington.
7. Dizzy Gillespie is one of the three founders of the style of jazz called be-bop, which began in the mid-40’s (ish). Diz, sometimes known as the “spokesman” for the be-bop movement, helped to get the music out to larger and more (racially) diverse audiences. Be-bop evolved later into a style known as hard bop, from which funk, soul, R&B, hip-hop, and rap music were developed.
8. Benny Goodman was a white man, I know. The great thing about him was that he cared more about making good music than he did about meeting society’s expectations. This sextet featured several black musicians: Lionel Hampton on vibes, Charlie Christian on guitar, and either Fletcher Henderson (as is the case in this recording) or Teddy Wilson on piano. This drew enormous criticism, for a white man like Goodman to have the audacity to record and perform with black musicians. If I remember correctly, this is the first racially ‘integrated’ recording of music ever, made in 1939.
9. This was kind of a selfish indulgence. I love this song, especially this recording. It epitomizes the genius of Louis Armstrong, and what he did to music, and the world.

These last three are more focused on history than on music.
10. This song is about lynching of blacks in the South. It was a huge risk on her career for Billie Holiday to sing this song, but I’m glad she did. It’s incredible. I feel like it’s important enough to include the lyrics, so here they are:

“Southern trees bear a strange fruit,
Blood on the leaves and blood at the root,
Black bodies swinging in the southern breeze,
Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees.

Pastoral scene of the gallant south,
The bulging eyes and the twisted mouth,
Scent of magnolias, sweet and fresh,
Then the sudden smell of burning flesh.

Here is fruit for the crows to pluck,
For the rain to gather, for the wind to suck,
For the sun to rot, for the trees to drop,
Here is a strange and bitter crop.”

Chilling, isn’t it?
11. This song is homage to who Mingus calls (jokingly) the “first, or second, or third All-American Hero”, Orval Faubus, the governor of Arkansas who fought the Supreme Court decision in Brown vs. Board of Education and mobilized the Arkansas National Guard to prevent the“Little Rock Nine” from going to a “white school”. This is a classic song in anger and frustration with racism. The lyrics:

“Oh, Lord, don't let 'em shoot us!
Oh, Lord, don't let 'em stab us!
Oh, Lord, don't let 'em tar and feather us!
Oh, Lord, no more swastikas!
Oh, Lord, no more Ku Klux Klan!

Name me someone who's ridiculous, Dannie.
Governor Faubus!
Why is he so sick and ridiculous?
He won't permit integrated schools.

Then he's a fool! Boo! Nazi Fascist supremists!
Boo! Ku Klux Klan (with your Jim Crow plan)

Name me a handful that's ridiculous, Dannie Richmond.
Faubus, Rockefeller, Eisenhower
Why are they so sick and ridiculous?
Two, four, six, eight:
They brainwash and teach you hate.
H-E-L-L-O, Hello.”

It makes more sense if you listen. I promise.
12. This song was stolen by Coolio about twenty years later as the basis for his hit, “Gangsta’s Paradise”. The appalling thing is that Coolio changed the meaning of the song completely. Coolio was portraying the terrible conditions of life for inner-city blacks today. In this recording, however, Stevie Wonder points out many of the terrible things that have happened to his race, but with the main idea that we need to move on, that things are improving, and that with time things will continue to do so. I like that; it’s a great message of hope.

The lyrics:
“They've been spending most their lives
Living in a pastime paradise
They've been spending most their lives
Living in a pastime paradise
They've been wasting most their lives
Glorifying days long gone behind
They've been wasting most their days
In remembrance of ignorance oldest praise
Tell me who of them will come to be
How many of them are you and me

Dissipation
Race Relations
Consolation
Segregation
Dispensation
Isolation
Exploitation
Mutilation
Mutations
Miscreation
Confirmation....... to the evils of the world

They've been spending most their lives
Living in a future paradise
They've been spending most their lives
Living in a future paradise
They've been looking in their minds
For the day that sorrow's gone from time
They keep telling of the day
When the Savior of love will come to stay
Tell me who of them will come to be
How many of them are you and me

Proclamation of Race Relations
Consolation
Integration
Verification of Revelations
Acclamation
World Salvation
Vibrations
Simulation
Confirmation....... to the peace of the world

They've been spending most their lives
Living in a pastime paradise
They've been spending most their lives
Living in a pastime paradise
They've been spending most their lives
Living in a future paradise
They've been spending most their lives
Living in a future paradise
We've been spending too much of our lives
Living in a pastime paradise

Let's start living our lives
Living for the future paradise
Praise to our lives
Living for the future paradise
Shame to anyones lives
Living in a pastime paradise”

Sunday, February 11, 2007

What Is This Thing Called Love?

Valentine’s Day is coming up, so naturally this week’s playlist will be devoted to this annual celebration of love and romance.

It seems to me that there are essentially three popular things to do on Valentine’s Day: 1) nothing, 2) do something extravagant though ultimately empty of real affection for the person you love, or 3) complain. Complaints are often related to the gift-giving process; men complain about having to give the perfect gift, or else face a year of grief for not being thoughtful, while women usually complain about men (a hot topic for discussion/whining in the time preceding this dreadful holiday). In this case, by the way, some women seem to think every day is Valentine’s Day.

I spent time this past week trying to decide if this week’s list should be in celebration of love, or in humiliation of it. I decided that there’s just too much potential for either idea to skip either, so I’m doing them both. In the case of the “pro-love” list, I ask you to remember that probably one in three songs ever written is about love, so I couldn’t possibly make a fully comprehensive collection into a list that could fit onto a single CD. These are some of my favorite love songs (or just generally romantic, if not actual love songs), spanning several genres.

Enjoy!

“Love Bites”:
1. Somebody Kill Me- Adam Sandler (from “The Wedding Singer”)
2. Love Bites- Def Leppard
3. Love You In Vain- Alison Krauss
4. I Will Survive- Gloria Gaynor
5. Don’t Get Around Much Anymore- Duke Ellington
6. Love Song For No One- John Mayer
7. Faded Love- Patsy Cline
8. Love Hurts- Nazareth
9. Where Did Our Love Go?- The Supremes
10. You Give Love a Bad Name- Bon Jovi
11. Love Her Madly- The Doors
12. Tainted Love- Soft Cell
13. Cold As Ice- Foreigner
14. Witchy Woman- The Eagles
15. More Than a Feeling- Boston
16. I Heard It Through The Grapevine- Gladys Knight
17. Chain of Fools- Aretha Franklin
18. Don’t Miss You At All- Norah Jones
19. Solitude- Billie Holiday
20. Can’t We Be Friends?- Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong

Congrats to Duke Ellington for writing three (#’s 5, 18, and 19) of the the twenty songs!

“All You Need Is Love”:
1. All You Need Is Love- The Beatles
2. All The Things You Are- Ella Fitzgerald
3. (Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher- Jackie Wilson
4. How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)- Marvin Gaye
5. People Will Say We’re in Love- from “Oklahoma!”
6. How Deep is Your Love- Bee Gees
7. Your Song- from “Moulin Rouge”
8. Cheek to Cheek- Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong
9. Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You- Frankie Vallie & the Four Seasons
10. The Nearness of You- Pat Metheny and James Taylor (I have five versions of this song, including versions by Ella and Louis, Sarah Vaughan, and Norah Jones; but they’re used elsewhere this week, so this is the recording I chose)
11. They Can’t Take That Away From Me- Sarah Vaughan
12. Embraceable You- Charlie Parker
13. My Girl- The Temptations
14. You’ve Really Got A Hold On Me- Smokey Robinson
15. Knocks Me Off My Feet- Stevie Wonder
16. Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic- The Police
17. Best of My Love- The Eagles
18. Tell Her About It- Billy Joel

Well? What do you think? Don’t you just want a copy of these CD’s sooooooo bad?

Sunday, February 4, 2007

Mother Nature Never Sounded So Good!

Weather in Utah has been a little odd lately. Just when it gets warm enough for most of the snow to melt, it snows again. Then, quite suddenly, it’s warmer, and it all melts away. Due to inclement weather, and my constant longing for summer, I’ve decided to let this week’s playlist be dedicated to weather, in its many forms.

1. “It’s Raining Men” - The Weather Girls
2. “Stormy Weather”- Duke Ellington
3. “Have You Ever Seen the Rain?”- Creedence Clearwater Revival
4. “Cloudburst”- Eric Whitacre
5. “Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head”- B.J. Thomas
6. “A Foggy Day”- Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong
7. “Sunrise”- Norah Jones
8. “Summertime”- Sarah Vaughan
9. “Waiting for the Sun” -The Doors
10. “Summer Soft”- Stevie Wonder
11. “Aquarius/ Let The Sunshine In”- The 5th Dimension
12. “Summersong”- The Decemberists
13. “Sunlight”- Pat Metheny
14. “Here Comes the Sun”- The Beatles
15.“Winter Time”- Steve Miller Band
16. “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!”- Lena Horne
17. “I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm”- Billie Holiday

I really, REALLY wish I had “Walking on Sunshine”. That’d be PERFECT for this list.

Comments?