Tuesday, April 3, 2007

On Notice!

If you enjoy Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report", which I'm sure you know I do, you know that when any person, organization, ideal, or other abstract concept wrongs Stephen Colbert in some way, he puts them "on notice", which is basically a warning and an outward expression of disapproval. He has an "On Notice" board where he puts the names of those things which are on notice as a reminder. For your information he also has a "Dead To Me" board, but that's not really relevant at this point.

I found an AWESOME web site today. Go here: http://www.shipbrook.com/onnotice/

You can make your own "On Notice" Board. In that spirit, here's mine.



Watch out, sleepwalking! If you're not careful, you just may move to "Dead To Me". If I don't become dead to you first, that is.

Monday, April 2, 2007

Brush with death

If I had been more conscious when it happened, I would have seen my life flash before my eyes early this morning.

My roommate, Dan, has trouble getting up in the morning. He has been known to sleepwalk. I once walked to my bed at night in total darkness, and as I reached down to turn the covers down, my hand grabbed a still hairy leg instead. After a lap of sleepwalking around the house, he had returned to bed. My bed. It scared the CRAP out of me. A week or two later, as I came to my bed, and I was just climbing in, he sat straight up and told me in great length about a chemistry lab he had just been doing. It was HILARIOUS to me, not only because sleep-talking is funny, but also because his sleep-induced logic towards chemistry fundamentals was ridiculous.

We haven't had any good encounters with his sleep-related craziness in a while. Or I should say, we HADn't, until this morning.

I found myself awakened this morning by a little tug on my covers. It was enough to arouse me about halfway from my sleep, so I wasn't fully conscious. I drowsily turned over, and pulled the covers slowly away from my face, only to see my roommate standing immediately next to my bed, towering over me. At first, I didn't react. I was, after all, half asleep. Soon enough, the realization hit me that this was the type of position a killer would take before numerous thrusts of a dagger would rain down and kill his prey, so after two or three seconds, my eyes shot open as I sprang up. I looked into his eyes, ready for a fight (clearly, I was still not completely conscious. Or I've seen too many action movies lately.), only to see that his eyes were, in fact, closed. Realization sank in that he was sleepwalking. I sighed and relaxed, and commanded him with the firm tone to which his unconscious self responds to go back to bed.

Apparently he had gotten up to turn his alarm off, and within a second or two after turning it off, he fell back asleep, standing, and conveniently right next to my bed. For some reason, in his unconscious stupor, he felt the need to wake me up as well (he usually wakes up about three hours before I do), hence the tug on my covers.

Good thing I looked in his eyes before I destroyed him with my Jujitsu. If that were the case, I'd probably be stuck without a roommate. That would...be...hmm...terrible? Yeah, terrible, that's it.